"We accept the love we think we deserve"

(title quote from Stephen Chbosky's "The Perks of Being A Wallflower")

I once heard described in a movie that every woman has the exact love life that she wants(Wedding Date), and I completely disagreed with it. I have had so many relationships where I have been only halfway happy, and the other half was because I felt my significant other was "acting out of character", and I figured all they had to do was get hit over the head for a 2nd time, and then they'd go back to normal. WRONG. If anyone out there thinks that this is a good method to being happy...wait for him and things to change....then you are setting yourself up for failure. If you wanted to be truly happy you wouldn't put yourself through that. You would understand that you deserve better, and you would move past it. I haven't always done this but I am beginning to see why I have been so repressed the last few years of my life, and it is because I held on to this bullshit bullshit that really never got me anywhere besides sitting down at my computer right now at this very moment and writing a blog about it because it finally became enough of an issue that I felt I needed to speak out.

A good friend of my recently said that girls make all this relationship stuff way too complicated. It should just be simple. You broke up--it's over. He said he doesn't love you--then he doesn't! He didn't call--then he's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (haha cant wait to see that movie). At first I didn't agree. Relationships are a complicated thing, obviously, but after we talked about it for a while, I began to rethink it. I have had some pretty ridiculously complicated relationships and all they ever did, truly, was bring me heartache. All I have to show for them is wasted years and hurt feelings. And sure, I believe that I'd rather have loved and lost, than never loved at all....but in all of that time, I could have probably cut a few years down and found someone else who was more deserving of my love....and that is what girls don't understand.

If you are open to it...love will find you (Dan In Real Life). I truly believe that it will. You don't have to keep holding onto the heartache. You don't have to keep getting stepped on and put face down in the dirt(Red Jumpsuit Apparatus "face down"). We accept that love, that pain, and that abuse because we think it is the best that we can do, we think that it's what we deserve, we think that the good times with this person outway the bad, and that you'll never find anyone else who can be better. I'm not sure I've found someone who could do that either just yet, but I know I'm optimistic. And maybe that's because I have to be. But I refuse to believe that we live in a world where happiness must coincide with such pain and saddness. That isn't the way it should be.

And now more personally, on to me and my advancements....
I have decided that I am waiting for love this time. I get so constantly bogged down in these little crushes because they always serve as an interesting thing to make the time go by. I always end up getting hurt from these because my expectations are far too high. I always want something that people can't give me. If we're being honest, I think it is pretty unreasonable for me to ask someone to give me what I think I need.....but I know that somewhere out there, there is someone who is ready, willing, and waiting to give me just that.


I think some girls get so caught up in needing human heat (Frightened Rabbit "the twist"), and needing to feel loved, that they don't realize they are in a bad situation. They think they have a master plan to change their situations or to change this boy, but it's been my experience that these changes rarely occur, at least not for a pretty long time. I know this sounds like one of those PSA's at the end of a WB show where they say "If you or someone you know has an eating/drug problem blah blah blah"....but I'm being serious...........If you or someone you know is unhappy in your relationship...that should be enough of an indication that you SHOULD NOT BE IN IT. Get out! Get out and save your soul before its so far gone that you can't resurect it. Tell that person that they deserve to be happy and they deserve to be treated better...and if the things that are making them unhappy are things that cannot be easily changed, then its time to cut the chord. Sometimes people just need some advice from a friend, or a little push and they may not even know it. It's hard taking the first step...so take the first step with them. Don't let them do this alone, and if you are in this situation, grab a friend along the way, because chances are they already think your relationship is ridiculous and want you out of it anyway.

Hey everyone, it's time to get your life back. We can do it together.