Lately

I've been impatient lately, with people, with the weather, with the internet, with stop lights, with everything. I've been on edge, short-tempered. I haven't been a pleasant person to be around. The truth is I'm bored.

See I'm the type of person who thinks they know what's best for everyone. There are people I want to sit down in a chair and tell them where they should be at, what they should be doing, and how they should be acting...but no one wants this. So until people begin to live up to my expectations, I will continue to be disappointed.I will continue to be bored, and annoyed. I will continue to sit cross-legged on the other side of the room, making judgments, mapping out what they should have said next, instead of the crap that already came out.

I wrote this next thing on March 2nd, 2009 and it really seems to be exactly how I am feeling now. maybe the in between held some improvements. but i'm not really that optimistic.

I am always punishing people for their imperfections, and then loving others for theirs. This is, in fact, an imperfection of mine, to see the beauty in some, and not in others, to be intrigued only to the point of real extremities, and not the little things that we see so often everyday in books and magazines. I am bothered by this everyday monotony and I am bored with it, and thus I write off those who fall below my scale of interest or punish those that I am stuck with who do the same. Either way, to be boring and to be close to me is something of an anomaly.

I'm sure this is all very annoying to read, and I probably sound a bit like a bitch, but at least I'm acknowledging it.

P.S. Listen to "Set the Fire to the third bar" by Snow Patrol