I'm Not Afraid Anymore

I think that a lot of my friends don't really appreciate my personality. I don't mean "appreciate" in a sarcastic sense like they don't care for it, I mean, they literally don't grasp the nature, worth, quality and significance of who I am. They don't value the traits I posses which make me different.

There are so many people out there who don't like songs because they are "too popular" or bands because they've "sold out" or actors because they "always play the same role". And when these people make comments about this, what they don't understand is they are making a judgment about someone else's life. Obviously, we are free to make these judgments, but I think sometimes people don't realize that people do the exact same thing every single day sometimes, because they know what they like, and that's what they want to do.

I eat nearly the exact same meal for dinner in month increments, sometimes even semester increments. So far this semester, it's nuggs (chicken nuggets). I went through a nugg faze last year, and then last semester I went through a nugg dry spell where I didn't eat a single nugg, even at restaurants barely. People sometimes make fun of me for this. Saying I'm cheap, or boring, or that I need to vary it up for whatever reason...but all of those reasons really have nothing to do with other people. I am allowed to eat nuggs every single day of the week, because that is the choice I have made for myself, not for other people.

I know this all probably seems pretty disconnected but it really makes sense. My weird eating habits are a part of my personality. Some people appreciate this about me, others don't understand it, others make fun of it. There is a different between not understanding something, and making fun of it. The difference is, the people who make fun of it, also do not understand it, but think that they have some superior knowledge to somehow make their opinion above all other opinion, and thus they have the right to make a person feel inferior for having unique preferences.

I know way too many people who are way too opinionated and its about to make me hit the roof. You are entitled to your opinions and to express them, but there is a point when voicing your opinions in a crowded room makes other people uncomfortable, and I'm afraid to say that often I'm number one on this list of becoming uncomfortable. Maybe I take things too personally, or I am a softy, or I think everyone is just out to get me. But what is truly so wrong with being that passionate about something? What is so wrong with feeling something to such a level, which may seem trivial to others, but YOU take it personally? What is wrong with that?

And what is wrong in my liking these kiddish foods, the disney channel, celebrities who aren't doing any good to the MPAA, trashy movies, awkward clothing items, and oversized chunky rings?
I'll tell you what...there's nothing wrong with it to me. And for those people in my life who like to poke fun at these things, and many others....well you can take your opinions and your judgments and you can eat them. Because if you were really a worth-while friend, you would appreciate these things about me. You would appreciate that I am different and I, for that split second, felt comfortable enough in front of you to be a little vulnerable and admit that I like something that is generally not well receipted in the eyes of others. I am your friend, and you should not be doing anything to make me feel uncomfortable. I should not have to walk out of a room because I feel personally attacked. I'm going to quit being afraid of who I am. I'm going to quit being scared to be myself. I'm going to quit trying to please YOU... because you're really not worth it anyway.