Sociology Final Tomorrow

"The individual can only be what is possible within some specifically constructed historical world. But individuals, thus constrained, construct and reconstruct such historical worlds by exploiting the distinctive ambiguities of interaction. They bring with them to each of their interactions a unique and inner self."
-Dennis Wrong

Don't Wait

Currently listening to: "To West Texas" by: Explosions in the Sky (Friday Night Lights Soundtrack)

I've been afraid of death for a long time, I'm sure most of us are in one way or another.

I remember being 7, or very young at least, and sneaking off to my room to cry after Papoulie (Michelle Tanner's grandfather) died on Full House. One of my parents came in a few minutes later and asked why I was crying. I told them it was because Papoulie had died just like my step-grandma had died and that I was afraid to die one day. I barely even knew my step-grandma.

I think death is so scary because it makes each of us re-evaluate our lives in some ways. We don't want to believe that any day could ever be our last day. We think about what we would miss out on, what we would never get to do, and who we'd be leaving behind. Most of us fear death because we're nowhere near prepared for it.

Whenever I think about death I always think about something this really smart guy I know once said, never wait to let someone know how much you care about them. Life is far too short to spend it wrapped up in the unimportant stuff. Live everyday and love everyday and never wait to let someone know how much they mean to you....seriously, go do it right now.

R.I.P. Ryan Kerwood

Eureka

The only thing that ever makes me feel better when I'm upset, is just laying it all out on the table, saying exactly how I feel. I have to get all of those emotions out of me its catharsis its release its settling.

But the ironic thing is, the one thing I'm afraid of is letting people know how I feel, making myself vulnerable, opening myself up for the entire world to see.

How can I have my emotional release by telling someone how I feel, if I don't really want them to know?

Pups as Pets

EW gross. All my previous posts have been depressing let's kick that.

I have recently decided that I would absolutely die without a dog next year. I've never had a real pet...just a few fish, some toads, a ladybug, some hermit crabs, and a handful of mice. When I was 6 I was told I was allergic to cats and dogs and a few years later I was told that the initial reaction was just just a reaction to being tested too young..go figure. So finally the time has come. I'm about to embark on quite possibly one of my toughest journeys yet...I'm about to live alone. I'm about to have my own apartment where I won't have to worry about people hogging the freezer and I can hang up whatever Spiderman poster I want in my living room. It's going to be great, except I'm going to be terribly lonely. I really hope having a dog will help this process run a bit smoother. Basically I'm jacked. A bit nervous, but so so jacked.

I need a smaller dog of course because I'm afraid of big dogs, like Jenny's german shephard that bit me on Halloween and I cried in front of everyone (so so so not funny guys). I'm thinking Beagle? Rat terrier? Dachshund?

Fall

Figured I'd tell you, though no one reads this anyway, that I got into IU for grad school and I'll be going there in the fall. Apparently I do know what I'll be doing once I graduate. The program and school and everything should be cool, but I'm mostly just jacked that I get to stay. Part of my resistance about going to grad school was I was afraid to leave this place, but now I don't. So life is set...for now.